In search of an audience...

I can not say I write only for the love of the written word.  I desire feedback, interaction, readers, viewers, etc.  I have recently been considering transitioning to a video blog for precisely this purpose.  Blogs seem to be a disappearing medium.  Audio and video have replaced the written word several times, and so this is not surprising.

After all, we humans developed the written word relatively recently.  All communication was interpersonal at one point and a great deal of our communication still is.  The written word is also not ideal for the conveying of emotion.  It invokes emotion, but conveying it is difficult when the inflection of a voice is taken out of the equation.  There have been some recent attempts to compensate for this, but they fall short.

I can not say whether I will end up doing this.  I'm not particularly photogenic, nor am I great public speaker.  My voice will probably be lost in the sea of content just as my words are here.

Because no one asked

I've recently spent a good bit of time in the realm of online dating.  I have only really experienced, and only will experience, a subset of the possible interactions.  However, I have noticed some patterns that I felt the desire to share.  Obviously, I am not the desired audience for many profiles, but I have never thought that my opinions are unique.

First, a large percentage of online profiles of women are fake.  This is a combination of "bots" and scams.  This can lead to some odd behavior by men as they try to ascertain if they are chatting with the person actually photographed.  This is more true on some sites than others.  Each site has its own personality: Tinder is a dating app that a segment of its user-base wishes was a "hookup" app, there are actual "hookup" apps and websites, but most of them are just scams, eHarmony is notorious for attracting boring people, etc.

I have not used every dating, "hookup", and chat app and website available.  I believe there are hundreds at this point.  However, I have looked through a lot of profiles and felt the need to give some feedback.  This may be considered a rant.  As I am one voice in a tiny corner of the Internet, very few people will hear it regardless.

Let's start with profile photos.  If you do not have one, I assume you are either invisible, incapable of using a camera, or are so disturbed by your own visage as to consider an image of you a destructive force that should not be unleashed.  If you choose to post profile photos, there are some things to avoid.  If you look unhappy in all of the photos you appear in, I must assume that you are never happy.   If figuring out which individual within the photos the profile belongs to is impossible, I'm going to simply move on.  I am a fan of puzzles, but playing "Which person is the same in the most photos?" is not a fun puzzle.  By all means, let people know you have children, be proud of them, but the profile is yours, the majority of your photos should not be of them without you.  That is a little disturbing to be honest. 

As for the profile text, describing oneself is time consuming.  A "blank" profile is not truly a negative in my opinion.  Leaving your profile text blank for an extended period of time, however, will only attract the illiterate and the shallow.  Being able to communicate in your primary language is an important skill.  Text and chat messages are by their nature abbreviated, profiles are not.  If your profile contains no punctuation, and you are not an inspiring poet, I recommend deleting the text.  It is not helping you.

I am very glad that online dating has become as mainstream as it is.  The social gatherings of the past have disappeared and there really aren't good alternatives.  I would never have met my ex-wife in a bar, and we lived less than 15 miles apart when we met.  I wish all that are currently "looking" success.

The Dark

I recently met someone that spoke of "The Dark".  The phrase resonated with me.  Most humans would consider themselves diurnal, whether they know the term or not.  The Children of the Sun have always greatly outnumbered the Children of the Moon.  We are radiant beings.  We dance in the light, reflect it, and absorb it.

But away from the equator, the winter season brings cold and darkness.  The cold drives us into our caves.  It must; we lack fur.  We find other sources of light and heat.  We have become quite proficient at interacting with others from the warmth and safety of our caves.  We schedule celebrations that encourage interaction.  We remind each other of the coming of spring.

I had not, honestly, considered the effect of the fading sunlight.  I am a Child of the Moon.  The quiet and mystery of the dark have always brought me peace.  The light of a fire brings out all that I find beautiful in my fellow humans. 

But for many, the long nights gnaw at them.  I do not know which of the myriad aspects of darkness drains them.  I cannot speak for them.  I can only empathize.  I can offer my hand.  I can point out the light that remains.  I can sit with them in the darkness.  I can break the silence or basque in it.

I am a Child of the Moon.  I never want anyone to be afraid of "The Dark" ever again.  I don't expect, or even wish, them to embrace it.  I do, however, want them to hold on until daybreak.  If I can help them do so, I will.