Those that do know me might be surprised to even see mention of anger. Long ago, I came to the conclusion that anger was simply a destructive force and that it should be ignored. Although some would argue that this is easier said than done, in my case it truly wasn't.
I've had very little to be angry about over the last 30 years or so. I can recall nearly all of the moments I was ever angry. My memory has never been that good, the moments have been that rare.
Perhaps, I should clarify. In my view anger is the emotion best linked to lashing out. It is not simply frustration. When I speak of being angry, I am referring to times when I wanted to cause harm to another human being or at least wished them harm. I guess others would use the word "rage" instead. I think of it as the desire to cause destruction... throwing things, actual physical violence, or simply yelling at someone. The driving force behind "losing one's temper". This just shouldn't happen very often in the average life, and in my life it hasn't. I have been quite calm when resigning. I have been sad during break-ups, I have been disappointed in my fellow humans. The last time I recall being angry was at a party roughly 10 years ago and at the time, the emotion shocked me. I knew I was quite capable of physical violence and that a simple insult had caused the desire to do so.
I really don't know if the emotional response occurs and I repress it, or if it simply doesn't occur. I do think the latter. I do think that the moments of anger have been striking and rare. I think that learning to repress them would require more experience with them.
I am trying to open up more. I am trying to let what is felt be expressed. If anger comes of this, so be it. I actually doubt it will.
