You realize you are planning for a time to come. You are thinking not of the next 5 years but for 50 years from now. You are envisioning gray hair and wrinkles. You are wondering how your body will degrade.. You wonder what you will do if you retire. You wonder if someone will be looking at you and thinking it's time you went out to pasture.
Then, you think about the others around you. How will time treat them? Can you deal with the changes that are coming?
Somewhere along the way you realize that the history books won't remember you... and that's okay. The history books will remember very few. CEOs, celebrities, athletes, Medal of Honor winners, senators, will all be lost to the annals. There will be a record of them, but only a few people will be remembered.
But the people who built our country were also not listed. The men and women that died on battlefields will not be noted. I have no more right than they.
So why do it. If you will leave no mark, why continue? The answer is simple. You are just some mammal on some rock in some obscure corner of space. Live like it. There is no more grandiose goal than spending your existence happy. The only time scale to worry about is 75 to 100 years. Decide how you want to spend them. The decisions you make should be based only on that timeframe.
We spend so much time worrying about things without considering why they are even important.
Just think for a second. There are a number of reasons to buy a house. If your reason is building equity, ask why. What are you going to do with the equity? Reverse mortgage, rent it out and move to Florida, leave it to your children? Do you simply want to live rent free after you retire?
What about simply owning property? Being able to do whatever you want with it... Knowing your rent won't go up for 30 years....
No one I know was ever "left" anything. It was just not the way they and their parents lived. They all died pretty much broke. There's nothing wrong with that. It is not the job of the elders to provide for the happiness of the younger, but the other way around.
Basically, stop thinking about money in and of itself and start considering its use. What opportunities does it give you? If the only opportunity you can think of is making more money, stop whatever you are doing. Look at your life right now. Think about what you want out of it. Think about what will make you happy for the next 50 years. Go out and do it.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Waiting for trains
It seems like a cycle. I'm standing on a train platform at 6:36. My world is broken in to 10 minute intervals. One interval too many and you miss the train.
You then have 3 intervals until the next train so you run to the store. You run into a friend and chat..... The store lines are longer than expected... Another train missed... At this point, you are cautious, you throw one interval away and just arrive early to catch the train... So early you wonder if you can finish something else...
The end result is that life can't be broken in to 10-minute intervals no matter how much you think it can.
I guess that's what I've been coming back to again and again. The "structure" we try to impose on reality is a fable. The phone ringing isn't part of the plan. The train being late isn't part of the plan. Life is a random collection of events on a 4-D stage. I've met very few people that can think in 3 dimensions much less 4. If you want to get a sense of how complicated the universe is, think about your life but imagine if you were shifted by 5-minutes of 5 feet in any direction. The result quickly becomes another life. A life where you missed different trains and caught others. A life where none of the random events you remember occurred. Instead, a whole different set of random events occurred.
The truth is life is all random. We try to plan around it... Add our silly little borders... Level things out... Increase probabilities....
Some people do believe that there is something that can contemplate the whole mess, some grand project manager that has accounted for all of the variables. I can't tell them they are wrong, but I can't believe that anyone would plan something this complex.
I wouldn't have created something as chaotic as us. And yet, I would.... I could see being bored with a clockwork universe and throwing a wrench into it. I would create something worth talking to. I would create children. But I would interfere more. I would make it quite clear what I am and what I am not. I would let things go most of the time. Your children need to grow and find their own way, but we are still infants. I would let my praise and displeasure be known.
I think to myself that paying attention to some little group of mammals on a rock in an empty corner of a little galaxy is a bit much, but if you put all this into motion, if you tried to plan it all, shouldn't you have taken us into account?
There is also the idea that everything we do is minutae and the end result will be arrived at one way or another. I can't say that's not the case, but then why? What is the point of giving someone a project and not telling them the goal. If we are just some type of experiment, than the grand master of the universe is an asshole. This is obviously not a popular view, but it is the conclusion I reach time and again.
I do believe in regulating forces. Not karma per se (either the old or new definition) but probable karma. If you sow kindness with discretion, you will encourage the same in others. If you sow kindness without discretion, someone will take advantage. If you trade in violence, you are much more likely to die violently. I think these things not because of some law of three-fold return but simply because other humans will react to your behavior.
Tyrants were never overthrown by divine intervention. Most of those that exploited others died wealthy. The variables that influence our life expectancy are the same regardless of how nice we are.
And yet...
I feel that it will all work out. As time progresses, I see patterns whether they exist or not. I do believe that hard work leads to reward, even if I have no evidence that it does.
But then again, I do not work hard for the reward. I work hard because I have to. I work hard because it's what I am. I work hard because my mama raised me right.
I show kindness because it feels right. I show love to encourage others to do the same. I give what I can because I have it. I extend my hand because I feel good helping others. I extend my hand because my mama raised me right.
But I have no delusions. The people I help come in all shapes and sizes. There are those that will take advantage and those that meet kindness with disdain. This equates to its own type of karma. I offer everyone my hand once. After that, further assistance is discretionary. My mama didn't raise a fool.
You then have 3 intervals until the next train so you run to the store. You run into a friend and chat..... The store lines are longer than expected... Another train missed... At this point, you are cautious, you throw one interval away and just arrive early to catch the train... So early you wonder if you can finish something else...
The end result is that life can't be broken in to 10-minute intervals no matter how much you think it can.
I guess that's what I've been coming back to again and again. The "structure" we try to impose on reality is a fable. The phone ringing isn't part of the plan. The train being late isn't part of the plan. Life is a random collection of events on a 4-D stage. I've met very few people that can think in 3 dimensions much less 4. If you want to get a sense of how complicated the universe is, think about your life but imagine if you were shifted by 5-minutes of 5 feet in any direction. The result quickly becomes another life. A life where you missed different trains and caught others. A life where none of the random events you remember occurred. Instead, a whole different set of random events occurred.
The truth is life is all random. We try to plan around it... Add our silly little borders... Level things out... Increase probabilities....
Some people do believe that there is something that can contemplate the whole mess, some grand project manager that has accounted for all of the variables. I can't tell them they are wrong, but I can't believe that anyone would plan something this complex.
I wouldn't have created something as chaotic as us. And yet, I would.... I could see being bored with a clockwork universe and throwing a wrench into it. I would create something worth talking to. I would create children. But I would interfere more. I would make it quite clear what I am and what I am not. I would let things go most of the time. Your children need to grow and find their own way, but we are still infants. I would let my praise and displeasure be known.
I think to myself that paying attention to some little group of mammals on a rock in an empty corner of a little galaxy is a bit much, but if you put all this into motion, if you tried to plan it all, shouldn't you have taken us into account?
There is also the idea that everything we do is minutae and the end result will be arrived at one way or another. I can't say that's not the case, but then why? What is the point of giving someone a project and not telling them the goal. If we are just some type of experiment, than the grand master of the universe is an asshole. This is obviously not a popular view, but it is the conclusion I reach time and again.
I do believe in regulating forces. Not karma per se (either the old or new definition) but probable karma. If you sow kindness with discretion, you will encourage the same in others. If you sow kindness without discretion, someone will take advantage. If you trade in violence, you are much more likely to die violently. I think these things not because of some law of three-fold return but simply because other humans will react to your behavior.
Tyrants were never overthrown by divine intervention. Most of those that exploited others died wealthy. The variables that influence our life expectancy are the same regardless of how nice we are.
And yet...
I feel that it will all work out. As time progresses, I see patterns whether they exist or not. I do believe that hard work leads to reward, even if I have no evidence that it does.
But then again, I do not work hard for the reward. I work hard because I have to. I work hard because it's what I am. I work hard because my mama raised me right.
I show kindness because it feels right. I show love to encourage others to do the same. I give what I can because I have it. I extend my hand because I feel good helping others. I extend my hand because my mama raised me right.
But I have no delusions. The people I help come in all shapes and sizes. There are those that will take advantage and those that meet kindness with disdain. This equates to its own type of karma. I offer everyone my hand once. After that, further assistance is discretionary. My mama didn't raise a fool.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Joy..
On Wednesday, June 3, 2009 I became 33. I spent the evening with Ms. Elizabeth Ann Pierce. She, as usual, amazed me. I am a very lucky man.
I was greeted by well wishers via a number of venues. All in all, it was a sphadongle day. :-D
Those that have read my previous work know I write in abstracts. There are stories to tell, but I have very rarely felt that stories were mine alone. The public words, regardless of their medium remain unchanged over time. The same cannot be said of memory. The power and beauty of the ephemeral word is its fluidity. The story needs to change with time. Tales become legends. History must be documented at the time to remain accurate. Tradition is by its nature distinct from history.
And so, I will not be telling the world how I spent my birthday. I will simply tell the world that I am happy and let the world wonder what brings me joy. Eventually, the story will morph. Events that did not transpire yet will be mixed with the telling. The image generated will be a strange combination of images remembered through time. Eventually, the tale will either fade into oblivion or become the stuff of legends.
I can't wait to find out which one.
I was greeted by well wishers via a number of venues. All in all, it was a sphadongle day. :-D
Those that have read my previous work know I write in abstracts. There are stories to tell, but I have very rarely felt that stories were mine alone. The public words, regardless of their medium remain unchanged over time. The same cannot be said of memory. The power and beauty of the ephemeral word is its fluidity. The story needs to change with time. Tales become legends. History must be documented at the time to remain accurate. Tradition is by its nature distinct from history.
And so, I will not be telling the world how I spent my birthday. I will simply tell the world that I am happy and let the world wonder what brings me joy. Eventually, the story will morph. Events that did not transpire yet will be mixed with the telling. The image generated will be a strange combination of images remembered through time. Eventually, the tale will either fade into oblivion or become the stuff of legends.
I can't wait to find out which one.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
The age of ministry...
I turned 33 today. We have often joked around the office about the age 33. According to popular folklore, Jesus of Nazareth died at the age of 33. In general, scientific discovery occurs before the age of 33.
All in all, men are considered "of age" at 33. The same might also be said at 30. Regardless, it feels good to turn 33. I have started telling my younger brothers and sisters that life begins at 30. There is something that effects you negatively in your teens and tweens. There is an overarching concept of "normalcy". Part of this is due to others. The bitter will relate opinions and events to your age. They can still do so at 30, but the society at large does not consider it acceptable.
As for me, there are a number of things that I want to accomplish. When I turned 30, I did react negatively. I let the things that I had wanted to accomplish and hadn't bother me. That was so long ago.
It took me 33 years to "just be". I do have goals for this year and the next, but goals and timelines are 2 different things.
For now, it is early June in Philadelphia. It is a beautiful time of year. My life is wonderful. There are things that I want to accomplish. I will.
All in all, men are considered "of age" at 33. The same might also be said at 30. Regardless, it feels good to turn 33. I have started telling my younger brothers and sisters that life begins at 30. There is something that effects you negatively in your teens and tweens. There is an overarching concept of "normalcy". Part of this is due to others. The bitter will relate opinions and events to your age. They can still do so at 30, but the society at large does not consider it acceptable.
As for me, there are a number of things that I want to accomplish. When I turned 30, I did react negatively. I let the things that I had wanted to accomplish and hadn't bother me. That was so long ago.
It took me 33 years to "just be". I do have goals for this year and the next, but goals and timelines are 2 different things.
For now, it is early June in Philadelphia. It is a beautiful time of year. My life is wonderful. There are things that I want to accomplish. I will.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
The rest of the country...
I have once again visited the lands between the coasts. I know it may seem silly, but the northeast seaboard has an odd effect on its denizens. We have developed a sub-culture. We wonder at polls, we are amazed at discussions of hunting and horseback riding. The media, being centered in large metropolitan areas, adds to our simplistic views. But like any generalization, it is by definition flawed.
So we visit lands where three story buildings are rare and the top 40 radio is not the radio we know. We are reminded of trailer parks and open land. We go to places where one can actually get lost. By the way, if you get lost in the forests of Maryland and have a map, natural selection has chosen you for extinction.
We go camping as recreation. We complain about our drinking water, but it is never a health risk. We basically live in Nirvana. Tornadoes are legends here. Snowstorms are dealt with quickly and efficiently. Our "droughts" require people to water their lawns at dusk.
I am not saying we don't have our own problems, but realistically, these difficulties are caused by human interaction and lack of equity, not by external conditions. A bad crop doesn't really effect us. Pricing for consumer goods are standardized. We actually have a working public transportation system to complain about. In many cases, we don't have to consider septic systems. We talk about "urban sprawl", but in reality we are just discussing a change in the population density of suburban areas. There is no real untouched land for miles around. The "natural" areas around Philadelphia are new forest that was simply leveled long ago.
Now, nothing is ever black-and-white. There are places in the inner city that lack many of the benefits the structure provides. There are areas far from the beaten path that have all the underlying infrastructure.
There have been great strides in constructing homes that allow us to actually live with the land. The technology is close at hand that will allow self-sufficient construction. We aren't quite there yet, but we aren't far off. In the interim, people like myself should stick to urban environments.
What I realized when traveling along the asphalt laid between areas of New Mexico is that my own thoughts and good intentions were dangerous. The areas we passed could be turned into solar and wind farms easily. We could employee many people building infrastructure that would keep the lights on. We could lessen our need for fossil fuel burning plants. We could... destroy some of the only beautiful places we have left. We could redefine an ecosystem that has existed for millennia. We could loosen our belt another notch to encourage more construction. We could worry less about our consumption. We could in a word get a limited reprieve.
I can be a little devious in my views of environmental change. I actually would encourage an increase in gas prices. I would actually encourage taxing of power companies that continue to use coal and oil combustion. Yes, I know what effect this would have on the average American, and yes, I want that to happen. I know it's brutal, but years of yelling from the mountain top about climate change could not have the same effect as months of gasoline at more than $3/gallon.
Regardless of what you may think about environmental consciousness, the fact is that oil is not a renewable resource. We are going to run out of it. If you have any other limited resource, the only viable option is to conserve. Yes, burning less fossil fuel has a dramatic effect on a number of things but the simplest one is that it doesn't run out.
Now, will all the wells suddenly run dry... no. But it doesn't have to. If you burn more than you pump, you will be playing catch up all the time. You will have to ration... globally. Could you imagine the result? How long do you think it would take for a military power to begin seizing oil fields? Openly?
We need to figure out how to live on less than we pump. The oil won't go bad. I will always be opposed to burning it, but compared to warfare, carbon emissions are of little concern. We need to learn to live on the resources that are available to us, not just keep searching for new resources. This planet could be our garden home. We could set up systems that would allow us to be in a condensed space and let the rest of the denizens of this planet have their space. This wouldn't take some new advancement in technology (although those will inevitably help). It would simply take initiative.
If $5/gallon for gasoline generates that initiative, so be it. If rolling brown-outs generates that initiative, so be it. The current path we are on leads to desolation. A perpetual headlong run into a future none of us wants (or at least wants in polite conversation).
We can change direction. We are amazing, beautiful creatures that can respect nature without fearing it. We have been given the gift of stewardship over this planet. We have been poor regents. Earth, fire, sea, and air have all been made to kneel to our whims during our tenure. We have proven our power. It is now time to prove our wisdom.
So we visit lands where three story buildings are rare and the top 40 radio is not the radio we know. We are reminded of trailer parks and open land. We go to places where one can actually get lost. By the way, if you get lost in the forests of Maryland and have a map, natural selection has chosen you for extinction.
We go camping as recreation. We complain about our drinking water, but it is never a health risk. We basically live in Nirvana. Tornadoes are legends here. Snowstorms are dealt with quickly and efficiently. Our "droughts" require people to water their lawns at dusk.
I am not saying we don't have our own problems, but realistically, these difficulties are caused by human interaction and lack of equity, not by external conditions. A bad crop doesn't really effect us. Pricing for consumer goods are standardized. We actually have a working public transportation system to complain about. In many cases, we don't have to consider septic systems. We talk about "urban sprawl", but in reality we are just discussing a change in the population density of suburban areas. There is no real untouched land for miles around. The "natural" areas around Philadelphia are new forest that was simply leveled long ago.
Now, nothing is ever black-and-white. There are places in the inner city that lack many of the benefits the structure provides. There are areas far from the beaten path that have all the underlying infrastructure.
There have been great strides in constructing homes that allow us to actually live with the land. The technology is close at hand that will allow self-sufficient construction. We aren't quite there yet, but we aren't far off. In the interim, people like myself should stick to urban environments.
What I realized when traveling along the asphalt laid between areas of New Mexico is that my own thoughts and good intentions were dangerous. The areas we passed could be turned into solar and wind farms easily. We could employee many people building infrastructure that would keep the lights on. We could lessen our need for fossil fuel burning plants. We could... destroy some of the only beautiful places we have left. We could redefine an ecosystem that has existed for millennia. We could loosen our belt another notch to encourage more construction. We could worry less about our consumption. We could in a word get a limited reprieve.
I can be a little devious in my views of environmental change. I actually would encourage an increase in gas prices. I would actually encourage taxing of power companies that continue to use coal and oil combustion. Yes, I know what effect this would have on the average American, and yes, I want that to happen. I know it's brutal, but years of yelling from the mountain top about climate change could not have the same effect as months of gasoline at more than $3/gallon.
Regardless of what you may think about environmental consciousness, the fact is that oil is not a renewable resource. We are going to run out of it. If you have any other limited resource, the only viable option is to conserve. Yes, burning less fossil fuel has a dramatic effect on a number of things but the simplest one is that it doesn't run out.
Now, will all the wells suddenly run dry... no. But it doesn't have to. If you burn more than you pump, you will be playing catch up all the time. You will have to ration... globally. Could you imagine the result? How long do you think it would take for a military power to begin seizing oil fields? Openly?
We need to figure out how to live on less than we pump. The oil won't go bad. I will always be opposed to burning it, but compared to warfare, carbon emissions are of little concern. We need to learn to live on the resources that are available to us, not just keep searching for new resources. This planet could be our garden home. We could set up systems that would allow us to be in a condensed space and let the rest of the denizens of this planet have their space. This wouldn't take some new advancement in technology (although those will inevitably help). It would simply take initiative.
If $5/gallon for gasoline generates that initiative, so be it. If rolling brown-outs generates that initiative, so be it. The current path we are on leads to desolation. A perpetual headlong run into a future none of us wants (or at least wants in polite conversation).
We can change direction. We are amazing, beautiful creatures that can respect nature without fearing it. We have been given the gift of stewardship over this planet. We have been poor regents. Earth, fire, sea, and air have all been made to kneel to our whims during our tenure. We have proven our power. It is now time to prove our wisdom.
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