Alcohol and I

Allow me to personal for a moment.

I believe I've spoken before about self-medicating.You see, I have an odd relationship with alcohol.  I do not crave it.  I do not "need" it.  I can generally go months on end without imbibing.

However, once I have progressed down a certain path, I continue.  This can happen on any random Tuesday and is generally uncommon in my life.  But, when I leave the realm of sobriety, I have the desire to continue down the path.

And so, I do not classify myself by any of the labels we use.  I will not seek out intoxication.  I will have a few drinks and then a switch is flipped.  A switch that cannot abide my everyday life.  I desire... more.  This does not seem to have a cut off or any modicum of reason attached to it.  There is simply a significant difference between "having a beer" and drinking.  I cannot say definitively where that line rests.  I do know that once I cross it, my brain does not pause.

There are many interactions with alcohol.  We are humans and patterns may emerge but are rarely demonstrative.  I wished to note my own pattern as it seemed uncommon.  I have heard various metaphors related to "man from the draft board" or "cut off" but I have never felt that warning.  I have gone from "It's time to go home" to "I need a few more drinks" in a matter of moments.

If you too have a similar reaction to alcohol, I will simply note it is healthy.  It is how your body processes a toxin. Pretending that we are unaffected by alcohol is not a solution.  Realizing how we react to a given stimulus is the path to growth.