I used to write all the time... (Originally published on May 21, 2009)

...but that was a long time ago. The printed or ethereal page was a sounding board. Then something happened. Frank discovered people. The world is full of sounding boards. If you continue to to simply take your own counsel, you will learn a great deal about yourself but very little about other subjects.

But sometimes you are on the train and there are no sounding boards.

I have been surrounded by empathy recently. In some cases, I thought it contrived... but regardless of the connection I might share with someone, there are connections that always exist between people. They don't have to know you. They don't have to know someone that has died. What they do know to varying degrees is loss.

I have a habit of thinking that loss was direct and almost quantifiable. I was so much older than, I'm younger than that now.

I've often spoke of funeral services. I have own opinions about ritualized burial practices and always will. But I'm learning. I'm learning that the connections a person makes are not often known to their family or friends and although a holy man may not have known the person they are speaking about, they do know grief. They do know loss. They are the amazing combination of characteristics that make us human.

I thank everyone for their regards and their reactions whatever they may be. I have so much to learn. The fact that my boss might actually be human is just one of those things. The fact that Catholic priests can cry is another. The fact that some people may choose to have someone officiate a memorial service precisely because he or she will maintain composure is another.

I have recently seen a support structure appear out of nowhere. I am lucky in that I knew it was their but I don't think I've ever paid attention as it manifested. We humans are amazing creatures. We even spread loss. A person deeply wounded will have a ring of loved ones. Each member of that ring will have their own support staff. The result being that everyone has someone to lean on.

I love you all. I am prepared to give strength because of you. I thank all those that will never read... all those that are supporting myself and others either directly or indirectly.

I am regularly amazed by what humans can accomplish when they get together. I wasn't expecting another reminder.

5 lanes of fail

I have recently spent a few weeks driving across the United States.  I have come to the conclusion that our highway system is flawed.  Between cities miles and miles of highway exist that are composed of two lanes in each direction.   This system works well but even here two problems become clear.  The first is a differential speed limit between trucks and cars.  The second is the misuse of the left-most lane.

As you approach a city, the highway changes.  The number of exits increases dramatically.  However, what is more problematic is an increase in the number of lanes.  In some cases five lanes are used.  The misuse of lanes also increases.  In California and in select other areas the issue is further exasperated by inclusion of an HOV lane.

The results vary depending on the amount of traffic, but the same patterns seemed to emerge again and again.  I very much hope that the HOV lane has increased the use of carpooling.  However, the merging and changing of lanes is downright frightening.  The problem of individuals misusing the left-most lane simply shifts over and is worsened by those passing through it.

The left lane is not the only lane that is misused.  The lane directly right of it becomes filled with many individuals who simply wish to avoid switching lanes and merging.  An unfortunate result of this is a great deal of passing on the right.  With passing now happening on both sides, a group of drivers become more obvious.  They attempt to weave through traffic.  Although this can be accomplished on a motorcycle in what I consider a dangerous way, the result for any vehicle with more than two wheels is simply an act of futility.

All in all, the lesson is simple.  If you find yourself driving and you are not in the right lane, answer three simple questions:
1. Is the right lane ending?
2. Are your preparing to use an exit on the left or make a left turn?
3. Are you passing another vehicle?

If you answered "No" to these 3 questions, you are doing it wrong.

Irretrievably broken

This is not a phrase I would use.  When I first saw these words, they seemed disconnected.  I was not certain if irretrievably was even an accepted English word.  After verifying that the people of Oxford acknowledged it, I still felt that the pairing was bad.  Wouldn't "irretrievably" pair better with "lost"?  Wouldn't "irreparably" be more in tune with "broken"?  I personally would have used "broken beyond repair".

But in the end, the meaning was clear regardless of the word choice.  Something that once was is no more.  Something that had come to define me was gone.  I believe I saw the odd word choice and started looking for a loophole.  A last bit of denial.

The truth is that words in print changed nothing.  Our society puts great emphasis on paper.  I put great emphasis on symbols.  In this case, the symbol is a document.