I have only vague memories of heartache. What I remember much more clearly is knowing that you are the source of another's heartache. I remember the tears in others' eyes... The tears I caused. I will never forget those. In truth, I will not allow myself to do so.
But no life is free from pain. Well, no life worth living.
We are amazingly resilient creatures by and large. We are designed to be tempered. This is much clearer in the physical world. Our skin forms callouses. Our muscles tear and are rebuilt stronger than before. Obviously we are limited, but one of the things that I find beautiful about us is that we keep getting back up.
The psyche has its own injuries. Its own scars and forms of healing.
I'm going to recall past injuries and the recovery that followed each. I am going to let time pass. I'm going to keep getting up. Some days that is more difficult than others.
Friday, August 15, 2014
What I do
I don't often write about coding. It takes up a large part of my life. However, whenever I think about writing regarding code, I consider responses. Let me state right off-the-bat I currently work in a Microsoft shop.
I have developed an affinity for Microsoft products. Part of that is simply familiarity. For over 25 years, I had at least one machine in my possession that had a DOS prompt. In the last few years, I have come to the conclusion that familiarity is not the only reason for my use of Microsoft platforms.
The truth is that memorizing command line arguments by rote has never been a good approach to interacting with a machine. It was necessary for decades to do so, but a keyboard is by no means the ideal human interface device any more than punch cards were.
The truth is that graphical user interface became the paradigm in the early 1980's. It would take another 15 years or so for this to be accepted. Most levels of abstraction do require overhead but in my experience, the usability increase always outweighs the overhead. I am a coder but I don't work in assembly nor do I wish to do so.
And so when I interact with a Web server or a database and that interaction relies heavily on text commands or modifying configuration files, I am put off. The flexibility gained by allowing an end-user to directly configure every aspect of the server is a huge benefit of these platforms. I will not dispute their popularity nor claim they are in any way deficient. I do feel that there is a barrier to entry imposed by such platforms.
When I code something that involves a lot of encoding or parsing or file manipulation, I always add a layer of abstraction to it. I am not claiming that others won't be able to improve on my code. I will revisit this in the future. New ideas will come in. I may not have thought of all the options the first time. However, in day-to-day use, I don't want to worry about it nor do my colleagues.
I am also put off by costs I consider excessive. What one considers excessive varies based on not only personal preference but on situation. I am in general opposed to barriers to entry.
And so I will return to my code. I will continue to code in a Microsoft shop for now. I have no intention of changing this. I will code in other environments when asked but I can't say I have found another environment I prefer.
I have developed an affinity for Microsoft products. Part of that is simply familiarity. For over 25 years, I had at least one machine in my possession that had a DOS prompt. In the last few years, I have come to the conclusion that familiarity is not the only reason for my use of Microsoft platforms.
The truth is that memorizing command line arguments by rote has never been a good approach to interacting with a machine. It was necessary for decades to do so, but a keyboard is by no means the ideal human interface device any more than punch cards were.
The truth is that graphical user interface became the paradigm in the early 1980's. It would take another 15 years or so for this to be accepted. Most levels of abstraction do require overhead but in my experience, the usability increase always outweighs the overhead. I am a coder but I don't work in assembly nor do I wish to do so.
And so when I interact with a Web server or a database and that interaction relies heavily on text commands or modifying configuration files, I am put off. The flexibility gained by allowing an end-user to directly configure every aspect of the server is a huge benefit of these platforms. I will not dispute their popularity nor claim they are in any way deficient. I do feel that there is a barrier to entry imposed by such platforms.
When I code something that involves a lot of encoding or parsing or file manipulation, I always add a layer of abstraction to it. I am not claiming that others won't be able to improve on my code. I will revisit this in the future. New ideas will come in. I may not have thought of all the options the first time. However, in day-to-day use, I don't want to worry about it nor do my colleagues.
I am also put off by costs I consider excessive. What one considers excessive varies based on not only personal preference but on situation. I am in general opposed to barriers to entry.
And so I will return to my code. I will continue to code in a Microsoft shop for now. I have no intention of changing this. I will code in other environments when asked but I can't say I have found another environment I prefer.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
In another world...
I was recently reminded of Burning Man. This actually happens quite often in my world. I won't try to describe the event or even go into details of my trips there. I will not discuss the common misconceptions regarding the event. I will simply state that the event and its attendants are amazing. Thousands of people expressing joy.
What I was reminded of is slightly abstract. Simply put, it is freedom. To be overly simplistic, it is the place where I feel the illusion of safety has been dispelled. With that illusion dispelled, many people let themselves feel and let themselves be. If you choose to attempt something, it is very unlikely that anyone is going to attempt to stop you. Words of warning are rare. Without these, your mistakes, your ideas, your desires, your breakthroughs are your own.
Many people have no interest in such an environment. Without the Leviathan of Hobbs, new systems form. I am in no way saying that the resulting event is sustainable. The environment makes it impossible for extended stays. However, knowing that you can survive under such circumstances is empowering.
The event does not exist in a vacuum and the United States of America and the state of Nevada have jurisdiction over the event attendees. But the location and size of the event limit the effect that the society as a whole has on its attendees. Many of the systems that allow for our way of life simply do not exist on they playa. Other systems have developed to allow the event to take place year after year. Common agreement has led to several conventions. The event participants are all there voluntarily and the organizers have encouraged both a volunteer society and a barter economy. The result is a beautiful testament to cooperation and adaptability and I am glad I got a chance to witness it.
I don't know if I will return to the playa in the future. It has now been a number of years since my last visit. The experience has remained vivid in my memory. Those memories are a source of strength. They remind me how amazing humans can be. They remind me of how fortunate I am. They remind me of the beauty of freedom.
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