Chasing rainbows

It does not claim the title "Emerald", but green stretches for hundreds of kilometers.

It is Autumn here.  I can't say if the rain differs by season.  Over the last few days it has come and gone quickly.  The train I am on has passed several rainbows this morning.  I don't get up to photograph them.

This country has 2 monarchs.  Its largest cities named after Europeans, the rest of the country named in Maori.  This land like my own, saw much bloodshed.  Unlike my own, it sought redemption.

Branches slither by the window reminding me that the mind applies patterns to things unfamiliar.

The huge chunks of concrete atop cars reminding me that the ground moves here.

People speak of the land I left behind.  I wish they would stop.  No good news comes from that land.

The deer are herded here.  Sending venison to places where people eat such things.

A man waves as the train passes by.  The sheep either panic or ignore our passing.

The green goes on and on.

Masculinity (Safe Spaces: Part 2)

As a discussion went on yesterday, I realized that the concept of masculinity seems to be a topic of conversation much more often than I would expect.  I apologize if the following seems tedious, but as anyone that has read a treatise knows, the first thing we must do is define our terms.

Let us start with the easy part: "male" and "female".  These are sexes.  They have very little to do with gender.  Every cell created by a male human has a marker indicating it is male.  This simple definition is used for clarity and to cover biological variations such as Klinefelter syndrome.

Gender, on the other hand, is not a dichotomy.  The English language in its current state implies this which sometimes makes discussion difficult.  I can not change the language single-handedly and so I will use the terms I have.  I personally use the terms "man" and "woman" as honorifics.  They are statements not only of gender but for a host of other things.

"Masculinity" and "femininity" are culturally variant allowing them to form a bridge between the binary sex and the culturally variance found in gender discussions.  I will focus on masculinity.  The fact that traits can be considered both masculine and feminine based on perspective is just a further indicator of their fluidity.

Merriam-Webster lists several definitions for "masculine"₁:

1. a: male - masculine members of the choir
   b: having qualities appropriate to or usually associated with a man - a masculine voice
2. of, relating to, or constituting the gender that ordinarily includes most words or grammatical forms referring to males - masculine nouns
3. a: having or occurring in a stressed final syllable - masculine rhyme
   b: having the final chord occurring on a strong beat - masculine cadence

Let's throw 1. a. out.  It is simply a repetition of a non-existent dichotomy.  Definition 2 simply refers to language.  Definition 3 gives us some insight into how the term masculine is and has been perceived, we may return to that.  That leaves us with 1. b.

A human is male.  Whether or not that person has masculine attributes, is variant both to the individual and over time.  Very few of us would describe an infant as masculine, however, some people do to use the, currently, gender-aligned term "handsome" to describe infant males.  I consider this simply a cultural error and a desire to begin gender delineation far too early.  We would not describe an adult male having similar features as "handsome".  I also believe that the term "beautiful" should have far less gender bias associated with it.  However, heaping praise on infants in any form is a positive thing in my opinion, and I would never discourage it.

What do we mean in 2018 in the United States when we refer to "having qualities appropriate to or usually associated with a man"?  Humans have been applying allegories and analogies to descriptions of masculinity and femininity throughout our history.  What do the historical views have in common?  How have our views changed over time?

A wise man once told me of a vision he had.  He found himself before his goddess and god.  He looked upon the goddess with the devotion due her station.  He looked upon the god and snarled.  The masculinity embodied by this being carried with it all the pain males had caused.  He saw this being as an enemy, a force that only destroys.  He then looked upon the pair.  The goddess leaned against the god, not because she had to, but because she chose to.  The both smiled upon him.  They both knew that he was confused and angry.  Many years and events had brought this wise man to false conclusions.  The goddess and god would be patient as he came to realize that both the masculine and feminine must exist and that neither was inherently destructive.

As I have mentioned previously, I do not discuss the "divine".  I will, however, discuss the physical manifestations of male and female and how they seem linked to our concepts of masculine and feminine.  Let us start with the broad concept that "assertiveness" is considered a masculine attribute.  In the case of sexual organs, the male asserts (generally).  This should not be confused with aggressiveness.  Aggressiveness is not a masculine attribute, it is a foolish one.

Let us go further and note that masculinity and femininity discussed outside of a community are of little use.  It is within the confines of our interactions that we discuss these terms.  Our concepts of masculinity and femininity are a product of and component of our culture.  Given this context, I put forth that "straight-forwardness" is another attribute we consider masculine.  Different speech patterns being considered masculine as well as the references in Definition 3 above allude to this.  A masculine person conveys information succinctly and clearly.  A masculine statement can be parsed easily.  I would further state that masculinity is not duplicitous.

Related to "straight-forwardness" is the quality of "confidence".  A masculine body posture is open.  It is not timid or defensive, nor is anything concealed.  A masculine individual meets others as an equal.  This is a far cry from "cocky" which is simply a cheap presentation of confidence.  Stemming from or allowing for "confidence" is "courage".  The confident individual must have courage and the courageous individual will develop confidence.  One could say "fearlessness" was a masculine attribute, but I think that is overreaching.  Masculinity is not a rarely attainable state or the description of a rare individual.

And finally, "strength" is considered a masculine attribute in many forms.  Physical strength is the simplest reference.  However, physical strength is of little import in the culture I live in.  The strength most often associated with masculinity is that of stability.  The masculine can be a reliable support.  We often use analogies such as a pillar or an oak or the mythical Atlas.  "Strength of conviction" can either be considered simply "strength" or a combination of "strength" and some of the other attributes.

Closely related to strength, the term  "unyielding" would also be a masculine attribute.  I feel that the term "unyielding" provides us a far better masculine adjective for discussion.  We are not talking about an idealized human being.  Someone who only has masculine traits will be difficult compromise with.  The purely cognitive traits of "reasonable" and "logical" benefit all, they are not masculine by nature.

I will refrain from adding "dominant" to the list.  I have my own biases as all humans do.  I believe that the traits above lead to dominance.  I also believe that these qualities can inspire others to follow.  However, the qualities necessary for leadership are not distinctly masculine.

Masculinity has been tied to conflict throughout history.  The combination of the traits above can easily lead to conflict and conflict often illuminates traits.  The masculine attributes above can lead to heroic acts.  However, we honor the warrior not the war.  The traits existed before the conflict.  The attribute may not have been as apparent, but it was there.

I have kept this list short.  Many try to analyze all attributes and place them within the false dichotomy of masculine and feminine.  There are far more attributes that speak to our humanity rather than our masculinity.  I feel that the false dichotomy has aided some in claiming that many attributes that they consider positive are masculine and further that attributes they do not value are considered negative.  If the false dichotomy is applied to those things noted above, it would appear that "weakness" would be a feminine trait.  Such a supposition is flawed at best and arises from false pretenses and at worst is a malicious attempt to claim that masculinity in some way is more positive than femininity.  Without both masculine and feminine attributes, a human being will not be successful.

I would also like to note that seemingly linked traits are not necessary masculine.  "Strong" and "hard" are separate concepts when describing materials and humans.  "Hard" objects and "hard" individuals are often brittle.

I do not expect this to become the defacto description of masculinity.  I am simply a male human observer that has seen a term misused often.  The concept of masculinity has changed and will continue to change based on the culture in which it is being used.

References:

1. Masculine | Definition of Masculine by Merriam-Webster https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/masculine

Safe spaces

First, I want to thank a dear friend for helping me gather my thoughts on this.  The original title of this blog post and the post itself were flawed.

"Safe spaces" entered the popular parlance about a year ago.  The concept, however, is no more new than the phrase itself.  Safe spaces have always been important.  In my opinion safe spaces are intimately linked with what it means to be a man.

I will not speak of the divine masculine or divine feminine.  I do not generally speak of things divine.  In addition, what defines masculinity and femininity is culturally variant and immaterial in this case.

What I am speaking of is a combination of roles that many people attribute to men, and the end goal of these roles.  The roles themselves are provider and protector.  I would capitalize those titles, but I don't think I'm actually talking about philosophical ideals.  I am speaking of what does exist in millions of homes across the globe and something I myself was given.  I am also speaking of something that should be more common in my opinion.

I want more places to be considered safe.  In truth, I want people to feel safer everywhere they go.  A number of events have recently reminded me  of the huge discrepancies between my own level of safety and that of my sisters.  True safety is an illusion, but I can feel a great deal of assurance based on probability alone.  The fact is that my brothers are very often predators rather than protectors.  I cannot fix this, but I can choose how I act.  I can also speak when the opportunity presents itself.

So, let us start with isolating the predators.  I am simply going to state that any place of employment should be considered a safe space for the employees.  If any of my brothers find themselves thinking that someone wants to get "hit on" while they are working or that an "office romance" should be pursued, stop!  Erring on the side of "leave her alone" will do you no harm.  That perceived opportunity you may "miss out on", isn't really there.  I am not saying that successful relationships haven't started this way.  I am not going to even say that your interpretation of the situation is incorrect.  I am simply saying the risk isn't worth it.  There is another person involved and you are about to have an effect on their life.

In addition, if you see what appears to be unwanted attention, don't stand idly by.  Ask about your fellow human's well being.

Does this seem old fashioned?  Well, it is.  We men have not earned the right to move past chivalry.  I hope one day my sisters and my brothers face the same probabilities when evaluating their personal safety.  I do not believe I will live to see such a day.

Home is always a safe space.  If the place you live is not safe, it is not a home.

Let us all create safe spaces for one another.  I do believe that it is a defining characteristic of manhood but I would never stop anyone from making the world better.  Safe spaces are places where intimacy happens.  Safe spaces are places where growth happens.  Safe spaces are foundations from which lives are built.