I think there are a lot of things I
never understood. Seeing them now does make me wish that I paid more
attention. I don't really think I've blocked out my emotions. I don't
really think I've repressed them. I don't even really think I'm not in
touch with them. I don't know what I think anymore.
There are just
so many things I heard others express that didn't effect me. It wasn't hard for me to "go away" to
college. My family has been scattered to several different states and two continents. It really didn't effect me the
same way as it did others.
I've wanted to be independent for as long as
I can remember. Change and even failure never scared me. I sort of
anticipated both. I don't even know if I had something to prove
anymore. I just know that I wanted to be something that others could
lean on. Something that could be counted on. Something that could not
be stopped. Something great. I will never let myself be less than
that. I guess somewhere along the way, I started viewing too many
things as weaknesses. I don't know. But what I've become isn't great.
It isn't something that others lean on.
In the end, history will forget me. This is the lot of us all. I will not change the world. I don't know if I even want to anymore. But, there have always been far more important things. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go work on some of those.
No comments:
Post a Comment