The need to write...

I believe I've written before about the need to write... The need to get something down... To express your thoughts in a lasting way. I can't explain it. Simply putting thoughts into medium has a profound effect. I will sometimes write simply because there was time and it just occurred to me. However, more often than not, I write as a form of release. The subject doesn't matter and often changes during the course of the writing.

I've found similar release in a number of things... music... physical exertion... I haven't been able to use yoga or meditation effectively to this end. I am of the opinion that I cannot be passive in this regard. Sometimes one can become too introspective. Sometimes I have spent too much time in my own head. Sometimes the internal thoughts become a jumble and I need to see which get filtered out as I write.

I've played out so many scenarios in my head that it can be difficult for the real world to catch up. I've never been very good at conceptualizing the actual events before they occur. All the thoughts amount to the passing fancy of a young man. The young man thankfully has learned that his own vision is poor. The conversations he imagines vary drastically from those he actually has. Alas, I have become no better at accurately predicting a result than I am in stopping myself from trying.

So, here I sit. The possible outcomes rolling through my head. Attempting to judge probabilities without all of the information. Unable to influence the results. Only one question keeps running through my mind...

Do other people's brains work like this?

Mother's Day of course

I've been reminded a lot over the last few months that my family remains a lot closer than most. The physical distance is immaterial. The truth is that we have adapted to each other. We genuinely like to be together. My family has never been an obligation. If anything, I would like to be closer to my siblings. I haven't figured out how to do that yet.

As one would guess, the connection with my family has its roots with my parents. Whether they knew it or not, they taught me to fight for what's important and let other things be. I have to presume the same of my siblings. We are not weak-willed creatures. We do not bow down. However, we do evaluate what mantles to take up and which to lay down. Sometimes there is simply no need to argue. Some things are better left unsaid.

My mother has continued to amaze me throughout my life. She has shown an openness that is hard to believe at times. She has time and time again refined my concepts of love and compassion. In all philosophical discourse, I would state that humans are not altruistic creatures. My mother has managed to prove me wrong.

There are various colloquialisms that could be thrown in here, but the truth is that she has a strength of will beyond my comprehension. She has fought the good fight and will continue to do so. I consider myself defeatist by comparison.

I would like to thank her for a myriad collection of gifts. However, I have relied on her strength as long as I have drawn breath and it has always shown through. If I have ever doubted it, I can only apologize.

May all mothers be celebrated this day and every day.

Because the line isn't fuzzy...

We have made a habit of prevaricating. We blur our language in order to make it seem that we are close to agreement. But, unfortunately, we disagree on a fundamental level. Look at your fellow humans. What do you see? Forget the grandiose speeches, the words of others. That man or woman begging on a street corner, how do you view them? Let's take a step back. The homeless shelter. What first pops into your mind? Taxes. Why do you pay them?

We are not altruistic. All humans beings are self-interested. However, being self-interested simply means that your own survival is a primary concern. That allows for a very broad range of moral norms.

So look into yourself. Recently legislators agreed that we should make some changes in the way we deal with our health. Many people became passionate. I have to ask everyone to personalize. A child can no longer be denied coverage if they are already ill. The children who need the most care. Why deny them coverage? Why support those who do? Money? Really? 0.001% of your income matters to you more?

Have I been unfair? Have I cut away too much? Is the raw decision between money and a strangers well being that difficult? I am not going to ask you to visualize. I am not going to say "Put yourself in their parents shoes..." empathy is not logically. I can not persuade anyone to care. If you personalize enough it becomes a different question. I am asking you to choose between a perfect stranger's life and a few dollars a year.

Some may argue that they are not responsible. Look into yourself, you know that is untrue. You cannot live without the company of your fellow man. Hermits have existed throughout recorded history. It has always been an option. No one takes it. You agree to live with other humans when you start your car, when you turn on your heat, when you get on a train, when you use currency.... When you rely on police protection or jurist prudence, you are accepting assistance to do what you cannot alone. When a child is born with a chromosomal deficiency, it has no choice. It's only chance at life is a society. We cannot reproduce alone. Our children can not survive without support.

Nature does have a way of dealing with disabilities. It's "solution" is harsh and practical. If you feel that natural selection should be allowed to be more deterministic, I can not disagree with you.

As I said, empathy is not logical. It can't be taught are argued. However, reasoning beings can not ignore facts they find distasteful. As for me, I pay my taxes because I consider the alternative. I choose to help those that can not help themselves. I always will