Those that do know me might be surprised to even see mention of anger. Long ago, I came to the conclusion that anger was simply a destructive force and that it should be ignored. Although some would argue that this is easier said than done, in my case it truly wasn't.
I've had very little to be angry about over the last 30 years or so. I can recall nearly all of the moments I was ever angry. My memory has never been that good, the moments have been that rare.
Perhaps, I should clarify. In my view anger is the emotion best linked to lashing out. It is not simply frustration. When I speak of being angry, I am referring to times when I wanted to cause harm to another human being or at least wished them harm. I guess others would use the word "rage" instead. I think of it as the desire to cause destruction... throwing things, actual physical violence, or simply yelling at someone. The driving force behind "losing one's temper". This just shouldn't happen very often in the average life, and in my life it hasn't. I have been quite calm when resigning. I have been sad during break-ups, I have been disappointed in my fellow humans. The last time I recall being angry was at a party roughly 10 years ago and at the time, the emotion shocked me. I knew I was quite capable of physical violence and that a simple insult had caused the desire to do so.
I really don't know if the emotional response occurs and I repress it, or if it simply doesn't occur. I do think the latter. I do think that the moments of anger have been striking and rare. I think that learning to repress them would require more experience with them.
I am trying to open up more. I am trying to let what is felt be expressed. If anger comes of this, so be it. I actually doubt it will.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Coming to realizations...
I think there are a lot of things I
never understood. Seeing them now does make me wish that I paid more
attention. I don't really think I've blocked out my emotions. I don't
really think I've repressed them. I don't even really think I'm not in
touch with them. I don't know what I think anymore.
There are just so many things I heard others express that didn't effect me. It wasn't hard for me to "go away" to college. My family has been scattered to several different states and two continents. It really didn't effect me the same way as it did others.
I've wanted to be independent for as long as I can remember. Change and even failure never scared me. I sort of anticipated both. I don't even know if I had something to prove anymore. I just know that I wanted to be something that others could lean on. Something that could be counted on. Something that could not be stopped. Something great. I will never let myself be less than that. I guess somewhere along the way, I started viewing too many things as weaknesses. I don't know. But what I've become isn't great. It isn't something that others lean on.
In the end, history will forget me. This is the lot of us all. I will not change the world. I don't know if I even want to anymore. But, there have always been far more important things. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go work on some of those.
There are just so many things I heard others express that didn't effect me. It wasn't hard for me to "go away" to college. My family has been scattered to several different states and two continents. It really didn't effect me the same way as it did others.
I've wanted to be independent for as long as I can remember. Change and even failure never scared me. I sort of anticipated both. I don't even know if I had something to prove anymore. I just know that I wanted to be something that others could lean on. Something that could be counted on. Something that could not be stopped. Something great. I will never let myself be less than that. I guess somewhere along the way, I started viewing too many things as weaknesses. I don't know. But what I've become isn't great. It isn't something that others lean on.
In the end, history will forget me. This is the lot of us all. I will not change the world. I don't know if I even want to anymore. But, there have always been far more important things. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go work on some of those.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
About fitness
I did mention that I am going to be less abstract. Unfortunately, that may result in posts that are a little less harmless. For now, I'm going to visit the trite.
I have been going to a gym off and on for most of my life. In the last few months, I have once again become highly motivated. Others have mentioned an "addictive" quality to weightlifting. I would not describe it that way, but I would say that there is an endorphin rush. Noting an increase in the weight being used or the number of repetitions or a change in a body measurement is as thrilling when it is positive as it can be disheartening when it is negative. Positive and negative being subjective. I initially wrote an analogy comparing it to a role-playing game, but as I've said, I'm going to try and limit the use of analogies going forward.
Throughout the last few months, I have become reacquainted with the fitness industry. There are a few things that have become more apparent. These range from the thought-provoking to the mundane.
The fitness industry has managed to give many people the wrong impression. 20 to 30 minutes of cardio, 3 times a week, is certainly better than a completely sedentary lifestyle. However, at best, that is a maintenance routine and will not lead to notable changes. You cannot "target weight loss" or "target fat". You can burn calories and you can increase muscle mass. You can target muscle groups. Resistance training will lead to muscle growth which will in turn increase your basal metabolic rate. Raising your heart rate burns calories. Any other "new information" that may have come out is, simply put, either intentionally or unintentionally deceptive.
The Recommended Daily Allowances are brought to us by the Department of Agriculture not the Department of Health. The accuracy of the data is regulated by the FDA, but they are based on the values recommended by the Department of Agriculture. The truth is that your caloric expenditure is individual and does vary day-to-day. Your basal metabolic rate is a good place to start and calculations are everywhere. If you work in an office and do not have any physical hobbies, you are sedentary. Your daily calorie expenditure will be close to your basal metabolic rate.
Bodybuilding and weightlifting are not primarily focused on health. Fitness and health are intertwined with resistance training but bodybuilding and weightlifting do have their dark side. There is no reason to deny this. At the competition level, there are practices that should not be condoned and are downright unhealthy.
Steroid users and relatively easy to spot.
It is not possible to compliment someone's glutes without sexual overtones. It just isn't. Don't try. If sexual overtones were your goal, then by all means go ahead. However, if that is not the desired result, pick another body part.
If you are intimidated by another person's presence, that is not their fault. If you are intimidated by another person's exercise routine, that is generally not their fault. The average bodybuilder doesn't care if you are looking. They are checking themselves in the mirror. They are not grunting to draw attention to themselves. They are grunting in an attempt to dig deeper; to use their exhale as well as their adrenaline to push themselves. Now obviously, humans being humans their will be people that are attempting to show off. However, after a while these individuals are easy to spot. They are simply horrible people and you happened to encounter them at the gym. Those of us that are there to work hard are there to work hard. If your teeth are clenched, you are sweating, veins and tendons are clearly visible, the focus is on the next rep.
Weights are heavy, when dropped the result is often loud. There will be times when dropping weights is necessary. It should be avoided, but one need only watch one powerlifting competition to know that even if desired, letting that weight down slowly would cause injury. My fellow weightlifters should recall though that even dumbbells and plates can break and that no one gets extra points for noise.
Write down your progress or you will not progress. Bodybuilding is a time-consuming process. Visible changes take time. Comparing sets from week to week, however, will make it clear that you are improving.
The exercise is not done until the weights are back on the rack. Most often, it will not be a staff member that moves the weight next. The 45 pound and 100 pound plates left on the machine or bar will cause a problem for many other gym members.
If someone is in the gym, they should not be criticized, period. You can attempt to educate others or aid them. The community as a whole builds each other up. We are all trying to improve ourselves. Otherwise, we wouldn't be there.
If you are in the gym, you have already taken the most important step. Don't let anyone take that away from you. The next step is to push yourself. To find your limits and then change them.
I have been going to a gym off and on for most of my life. In the last few months, I have once again become highly motivated. Others have mentioned an "addictive" quality to weightlifting. I would not describe it that way, but I would say that there is an endorphin rush. Noting an increase in the weight being used or the number of repetitions or a change in a body measurement is as thrilling when it is positive as it can be disheartening when it is negative. Positive and negative being subjective. I initially wrote an analogy comparing it to a role-playing game, but as I've said, I'm going to try and limit the use of analogies going forward.
Throughout the last few months, I have become reacquainted with the fitness industry. There are a few things that have become more apparent. These range from the thought-provoking to the mundane.
The fitness industry has managed to give many people the wrong impression. 20 to 30 minutes of cardio, 3 times a week, is certainly better than a completely sedentary lifestyle. However, at best, that is a maintenance routine and will not lead to notable changes. You cannot "target weight loss" or "target fat". You can burn calories and you can increase muscle mass. You can target muscle groups. Resistance training will lead to muscle growth which will in turn increase your basal metabolic rate. Raising your heart rate burns calories. Any other "new information" that may have come out is, simply put, either intentionally or unintentionally deceptive.
The Recommended Daily Allowances are brought to us by the Department of Agriculture not the Department of Health. The accuracy of the data is regulated by the FDA, but they are based on the values recommended by the Department of Agriculture. The truth is that your caloric expenditure is individual and does vary day-to-day. Your basal metabolic rate is a good place to start and calculations are everywhere. If you work in an office and do not have any physical hobbies, you are sedentary. Your daily calorie expenditure will be close to your basal metabolic rate.
Bodybuilding and weightlifting are not primarily focused on health. Fitness and health are intertwined with resistance training but bodybuilding and weightlifting do have their dark side. There is no reason to deny this. At the competition level, there are practices that should not be condoned and are downright unhealthy.
Steroid users and relatively easy to spot.
It is not possible to compliment someone's glutes without sexual overtones. It just isn't. Don't try. If sexual overtones were your goal, then by all means go ahead. However, if that is not the desired result, pick another body part.
If you are intimidated by another person's presence, that is not their fault. If you are intimidated by another person's exercise routine, that is generally not their fault. The average bodybuilder doesn't care if you are looking. They are checking themselves in the mirror. They are not grunting to draw attention to themselves. They are grunting in an attempt to dig deeper; to use their exhale as well as their adrenaline to push themselves. Now obviously, humans being humans their will be people that are attempting to show off. However, after a while these individuals are easy to spot. They are simply horrible people and you happened to encounter them at the gym. Those of us that are there to work hard are there to work hard. If your teeth are clenched, you are sweating, veins and tendons are clearly visible, the focus is on the next rep.
Weights are heavy, when dropped the result is often loud. There will be times when dropping weights is necessary. It should be avoided, but one need only watch one powerlifting competition to know that even if desired, letting that weight down slowly would cause injury. My fellow weightlifters should recall though that even dumbbells and plates can break and that no one gets extra points for noise.
Write down your progress or you will not progress. Bodybuilding is a time-consuming process. Visible changes take time. Comparing sets from week to week, however, will make it clear that you are improving.
The exercise is not done until the weights are back on the rack. Most often, it will not be a staff member that moves the weight next. The 45 pound and 100 pound plates left on the machine or bar will cause a problem for many other gym members.
If someone is in the gym, they should not be criticized, period. You can attempt to educate others or aid them. The community as a whole builds each other up. We are all trying to improve ourselves. Otherwise, we wouldn't be there.
If you are in the gym, you have already taken the most important step. Don't let anyone take that away from you. The next step is to push yourself. To find your limits and then change them.
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