I've turned 32 by the turning of calendar pages. The light in my
life gathered some of my loved ones and we went to Bar Ferdinand. My
phone seemed to ring continuously that day. The actual date was amidst a
whirlwind of life. Amazing things are happening all around me. As
some of the news is not mine to share, I will just say that many
congratulations are in order. I received gifts and positive energy and
some other things unexpected.
My father is recovering quite well and has been given a clear bill
of health. I will try to reach him via phone shortly to wish him well.
Several of my siblings are gathering in Seattle for an event that I
will let others describe in their own way. The American Foundation for
Suicide Prevention is hosting an event called "Out of the Darkness" (www.theovernight.org/).
I can only say that the event has given me a renewed sense of hope. I
feel as if a light, once extinguished, is burning again. I regret that
I can only donate money. I do ask that anyone reading this visit the
site and should you be in the position to, support one of the walkers.
Donations to Elizabeth Marles (www.theovernight.org/index.cfm would be doubly useful.
On Wednesday, I return to a place where the magick is palpable to
me. A place where part of myself was reborn and part withered. I can
only say that this year I will be joined by another. A new member to
the family of love that I have known for two years. I am looking
forward to sharing the place with her. I am looking forward to the
reminder of what is important that seems to be ever present there.
Amidst all of the comings and goings, the changes, the birthdays, I
set forth on another journey. My eyes turned towards what our society
considers a dividing line. I took it upon myself to become "landed".
The rules have changed much since the time when citizenship was limited
to those in possession of land. However, some of the antiquated notions
still remain.
Property ownership has never been a personal goal. Ownership, by
and large, is an illusion. However, come August (assuming everything
goes as expected), I will make housing payments to a bank rather than a
landlord. I have just signed a sales agreement for a condo at 21st and
Christian. I will have a basement, a back patio, two bedrooms (one of
which is quite small), a usable kitchen, condo fees, taxes, and
insurance. My brain seems to be going in a million different
directions. I'm already placing furniture and planning the garden. A
place to grow food. A place to paint. A place to dry out a tent after a
camping trip.
I will no longer have access to a pool and gym equipment will have
to be purchased. My 150 yard commute will be extended to a mile or so.
But, I feel as if I'm putting down roots. I wasn't planning it. I
don't equate it with some milestone or some glorified concept of worth.
I consider it a statement that I'm here and that I don't plan on
leaving at a moment's notice. I am staking a claim on this city. I am
binding myself to it. I think everyone but me considered it my home. I
cannot equate the term "home" with any physical address or location.
Home is a feeling or warmth that is found in people and memories. I
will simply say that I have found a place to keep my stuff and that I
plan on keeping my stuff there for a while.
There are so many things going through my head. So many thoughts
that meld together. So many things I could say but would have to
rewrite and rephrase countless times. For now, I will return to my
apartment and plan for the coming week. Tomorrow, will be a day of
business; a day of meetings and contracts; a day when the world gets
caught up in itself and buys its own press. I will go into secure in
the knowledge that by mid-week I will be on my way to reality; a place
where people feel free to be themselves; where a handshake or a hug
supersedes all the paperwork in the world.
I bid you all a good night and a good morning to follow.
No comments:
Post a Comment