I generally wait to write.. (Originally published on May 20, 2009)

...until I have put some time between myself and the event. Perhaps I should now, but I felt the need to write.

On Saturday night, my grandparents were in an automobile accident. My grandmother (whom we called Mom Mom) was pronounced dead at the scene. My grandfather (whom we called Pop Pop) did not survive the night.

No abstracts, no concepts, just a moment in time which changed lives. It's Wednesday now and nothing seems to feel right. The words are wrong. Everything seems to be disengenuous. I've been disconnected somehow. I simply don't have any energy.

Sometimes your physical body makes it utterly clear what is going on. Sometimes your chest really does feel like it is going to explode as your heart tries to join with itself. Sometimes the weight does actually get lifted off your shoulders. And sometimes, unfortunately, your body let's you know that it is weakened. The power leaves your shoulders, everything seems to just slump.

I am lucky. My shoulders do not give way when someone is leaning on them. Crying on the train might be off putting to passengers, but it does not cause a chain reaction.

Of course, putting that in a blog was probably a bad idea. Here's hoping others wait to read...