Something happened along the way (Originally published on August 14, 2006)

A year ago, I thought it funny. Stories of men and women who jump off the grid. They become successful in the ways their society measures success and just stop. I don't find it as funny any more.

I have not quite attained the desired ends. I still have several personal milestones of success I have not yet reached but I've gained some cruising altitude. Given some time, I will reach my destination. I see no more challenge in it. Perhaps that's the problem.

It was never about money or status. I don't care about either. It was about accomplishment. Looking back on a body of work and knowing it is yours. Knowing the energy that went into it. But then, the job is complete and I have to look for another milestone. It is my nature. I have to keep going. But now I seem to have lost the destination.

Somewhere between the mundane of living debt free and the colossal of rebuilding this city, I don't see any goals. I could never chase a promotion or desire money as an end.

The only thing I am left with is getting to know my fellow humans. There just seems to be something wrong with considering that a goal. Getting to know people is something I always thought of as just happening. Viewing people as an objective seems dehumanizing to me.

For now, I will just retire to my books and my pen.