On Monday, I attempted to resign. I don't know if any of you have
had a resignation not accepted. This is the second time for me. I've
spent the last few days meeting with supervisors. Analyzing the reasons
I'm leaving.
The end result still hasn't played out.
You may ask yourself why anyone would leave a job now. The answer
is simple: I stopped caring. It might sound silly, but I've never
worked for money. Not for long at least. I work to create, to invent,
to make some mark on the world. As a result, I'm a strange employee. I
work like the devil. I throw everything I can at a body of work and
attempt to make something I'm proud of. I do this at a cost. I am
necessary to my employer, not the other way around. I also won't
tolerate shoddy work in either myself or others. I will probably be the
manager everyone hates one day.
At the end of last year I realized a great many things, only a
couple were work related. I worked miracle after miracle to produce
some amazing products. It took most of what I had. At the same time, I
threw blood and sweat at another product. A product that was subpar
and in the end of December, I put out what I consider a piece of junk. I
visited with my family immediately after. By Christmas I knew I
couldn't stay. The miracle worker had made history. There was no
reward. And, I had produced something I wasn't proud of because it was
"necessary".
It's now 5 months later. I continue to be asked to put out crap
just to meet a date and I have done so. I don't care about the work I
am doing. For me, that means I simply stop doing it.
Now comes the odd part, trying to explain all this to a bunch of
people who don't want to hear it. When the miracle worker starts to
walk away, everyone panics.
But now, the train ride is over I'm off to work.
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